An old man goes to the urologist to talk about having another child.
The doctor says, “Do you know your sperm count?”
The old man replies, “I didn’t know they could do math!”
Format: dialogue
Dialogue comedy formats, jokes, memes, and punchlines organized for easier doom-scrolling from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
-
A Stolen Car
Two police officers stood beside a man who was bitterly crying.
“Wow,” said one police officer, “he must have really loved that car.”
“Not really,” said the other police officer. “It was five years old but fully insured. He’s crying because he just filled his gas tank.”
-
The Doctor’s Clinic
A doctor couldn’t get hired at the hospital, so he opened his own clinic.
Outside, he hung a sign:
TREATMENT: $20
IF WE CAN’T CURE YOU — YOU GET $100 BACKA lawyer saw the sign and thought, “I’ll make some easy money.”
He walked in.
Lawyer: “I’ve lost my sense of taste.”
Doctor: “Nurse, bottle No. 14 — three drops on his tongue.”
The lawyer sputters, “Ugh! That’s kerosene!”
Doctor: “Great — your taste is back. That’ll be $20.”
Irritated, the lawyer returned a few days later.
Lawyer: “I’ve lost my memory. I can’t remember anything.”
Doctor: “Bottle No. 14 again — three drops.”
Lawyer: “Hey! That’s kerosene! You gave me that last time!”
Doctor: “Perfect — your memory is back. That’ll be $20.”
Fuming, the lawyer came back one more time.
Lawyer: “My eyesight is terrible. I can’t see a thing.”
Doctor: “I’m afraid we can’t help with that. Here — take this $100.”
The lawyer looks at the bill.
“Hey… this is only $20!”
Doctor: “And just like that… your eyesight is restored. That’ll be $20.”
-
Do You Swear? No.
judge: do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth
me: no
judge: [covers mic] what do I do
-
Cockatoo
Do you happen to own a parrot?
‘Cause you look like you could handle a cockatoo.
-
The Butt Kicking Contest
Two guys decide to have a butt kicking contest.
The first guy takes a long run, hauls off, and kicks the other guy so hard he goes flying ten feet.
The second guy lies there for a minute, gasping in pain, then pulls himself together, stands up, and says, “My turn.”
The first guy says, “Never mind, you win.”
