Dialogue comedy formats, jokes, memes, and punchlines organized for easier doom-scrolling from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
Woman: Doctor, I simply don’t know what to do! Every date I go on, at the end, I find myself in bed. I am powerless to refuse any man, and afterwards, I keep feeling like a fool and a slut.
Doctor: That’s no problem, young lady. Just let me prescribe you some pills, and you’ll have no trouble refusing.
Woman: What? No, Doctor, I don’t need that. Could you prescribe me some pills so that I won’t feel like a fool and a slut?
Girl walks into a tattoo shop and asks for Elvis on one thigh and Johnny Cash on the other…
Tattoo artist says alright let’s get to work, but I’m gonna need you to take off your pants so they don’t get ink on them. After a few hours he finishes both tattoos. she looks in the mirror and freaks out. “These don’t look like Elvis or Johnny at all” she says, crying.
Sure they do, says the artist. Here I’ll prove it. The artist goes outside and grabs a man standing on the corner and brings him into the shop and asks who are the people in these tattoos? The man looks intently and after a couple mins says, “I don’t know who that is on the left and I don’t know who that is on the right, but the one in the middle is definitely Willie Nelson!”
You say “toh-MAY-toh,” I say “toh-MAH-toh.”
You say “soothing lotion for breastfeeding mothers,” I say “boob lube.”
This is why you shouldn’t let me write the shopping list.
