Behind every successful man is a strong woman, except for the man who invented that talking sex robot.
Format: setup-punchline
Setup-punchline comedy formats, jokes, memes, and punchlines organized for easier doom-scrolling from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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If you’re flying somewhere, don’t even think about sitting next to the pilot.
If you’re flying somewhere, don’t even think about sitting next to the pilot. Not only is that seat reserved for the co-pilot, but yelling “Shotgun!” in an airport pretty much guarantees they’re not going to let you on the plane.
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We all have regrets from time to time.
We all have regrets from time to time. I’m sure one day I’ll be lying on my deathbed wishing that I had just spent the extra money to get some other, better kind of bed.
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If you’re ever invited to a NAMBLA Halloween party, a good idea for a costume would be
If you’re ever invited to a NAMBLA Halloween party, a good idea for a costume would be to go as Dateline NBC’s Chris Hanson.
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Every day I wake up, it gives me comfort to realize that there’s at least one thing upon
Every day I wake up, it gives me comfort to realize that there’s at least one thing upon which all faiths and creeds around the world can agree: There are serious and obvious flaws in all religions except their own.
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Women can be so damned picky.
Women can be so damned picky. How was I supposed to know the chocolate hearts she wanted for Valentine’s Day were 100% chocolate and not just chocolate-filled *actual* hearts?
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The first 30 years of my life, I was intense and results-driven.
The first 30 years of my life, I was intense and results-driven. In my current 30, I am more circumspect and purpose-driven. I suppose my next 30 will likely find me arthritic and Rascal-driven.
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Einstein said, “God doesn’t play dice with the universe.”
Einstein said, “God doesn’t play dice with the universe.” It’s true — he’s too smart and knows the house odds are just too high. He mostly sticks with Blackjack and Baccarat.
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The most tragic part of J.D.
The most tragic part of J.D. Salinger’s passing is that disaffected curmudgeons now no longer have someone at whom they can point and say, “Well, at least I’m not *that* much of a dick.”
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Oh, come on — I can’t possibly be the only person ever expelled from Farmville for
Oh, come on — I can’t possibly be the only person ever expelled from Farmville for playing with sheep in *that* way.
