Setup-punchline comedy formats, jokes, memes, and punchlines organized for easier doom-scrolling from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
A little girl was usually driven to school by her Grandpa, but one day he had a bad cold, so her Grandma took her instead.
That night, the girl told her parents, “The drive with Grandma was really different today.”
“Oh? What made it different?” they asked.
“Well,” she said, “with Grandma, we didn’t see a single numb nuts, blind lady, idiot, or freakin’ moron on the road the whole way.”
A little girl goes to a pet shop and asks, “Excuse me, do you have any widdle wabbits?”
The shopkeeper’s heart melts. He gets down on his knees so that he’s on her level and says, “Do you want a widdle white wabbit, or a thoft fluffy widdle wabbit, or one like that brown one over there?”
The little girl blushes, rocks back on her heels, puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and whispers, “I don’t weally fink my anaconda gives a phuc.”
A group of tourists got turned around on a backroad and spotted an old local sitting by the path. They stopped to ask for directions and how long it would take to get to the train station.
The old man simply pointed toward the horizon.
“Alright, but how long will it take?” one of the tourists asked. “An hour? More?”
“Just walk,” the old man said flatly.
“Yeah, we’re going to walk,” the tourist replied, a bit annoyed. “But we need to know the timeframe. How long will it take us to get there?”
“Just walk,” the old man repeated.
“Look, can you answer a simple question or not?” the tourist snapped, convinced the old man was losing his grip.
Thinking the man was just senile, the group turned around and started walking away. They had only gone about fifty yards when they heard the old man shout after them:
“It’ll take you about an hour and a half!”
The tourists stopped and yelled back, “Why couldn’t you just tell us that in the first place?”
“Because,” the old man yelled, “I had to see how fast you walk!”
A doctor tells his patient, “I have terrible news. You have a rare incurable condition and will be dead by morning.”
The man goes home and tells his wife — it’s tragic, but there’s nothing to be done.
They go to bed… he’s reflecting on his life… and looks at his wife, and thinks… one more time. He wakes her up… and they make love.
She goes back to sleep, but he can’t sleep… and he looks at her again… and thinks… I gotta have it. He wakes her up, and they have sex.
She goes back to sleep again. The hours pass. The sun will soon be up. He thinks, better to die happy… and he nudges his wife again… “How about it?”
She looks at him angrily and says, “LOOK. I have to get up in the morning… YOU don’t!”
