Everyone in my department got laid off except me. So now there’s *only* I in team.
Format: setup-punchline
Setup-punchline comedy formats, jokes, memes, and punchlines organized for easier doom-scrolling from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
-
Rusty won’t accept my Facebook friend request.
Rusty won’t accept my Facebook friend request. “Man’s best friend,” my ass!
-
In my defense, it’s only one little letter.
In my defense, it’s only one little letter. Nevertheless, the judge wasn’t buying my argument that slaughter is the best medicine.
-
I’m going to take up knitting as a hobby, and my first project will be a nice warm pair
I’m going to take up knitting as a hobby, and my first project will be a nice warm pair of crotchless panties. I know what you’re thinking: “That’s very sensible, to start off on something simple and easy, instead of going straight for the big fuzzy sweater.”
-
In hindsight, I suppose I should have instead told my wife that I had a great time this
In hindsight, I suppose I should have instead told my wife that I had a great time this afternoon with a “foursome which lost a member before teeing off the first hole.” Then maybe I’d have TWO working testicles.
-
I just called the front desk requesting turn down service, and she said no.
I just called the front desk requesting turn down service, and she said no.
-
I think the lottery would be more exciting if they drew TWO different sets of numbers:
I think the lottery would be more exciting if they drew TWO different sets of numbers: first set, to see who wins the money; second set, to see who gets executed. With my luck, I’d have both tickets.
-
I believe you can learn a lot from spending time around small children — assuming you
I believe you can learn a lot from spending time around small children — assuming you don’t already know what a cow says or what the damn wheels on the damn bus do.
-
There I was, dancing to a Latin beat with none other than Eric Estrada.
There I was, dancing to a Latin beat with none other than Eric Estrada. That’s the last time I order CHiPs and salsa from THAT place.
-
I could tell we were in for a long night at work when our supervisor raised a megaphone
I could tell we were in for a long night at work when our supervisor raised a megaphone to his lips and yelled, “Gentlemen, start your catheters!”
