Format: setup-punchline

Setup-punchline comedy formats, jokes, memes, and punchlines organized for easier doom-scrolling from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • A Very Delicate Heart

    A retired fellow hadn’t been feeling quite right, so he went to see his doctor.

    After the exam, the doctor quietly asked his wife to step into the hallway.

    “I’m afraid your husband has a very delicate heart,” he said. “If you want him around a while longer, you’ll need to treat him like royalty — wait on him hand and foot, no stress, no chores, no lifting a finger.”

    On the drive home, the husband looked over nervously and asked, “So… what did the doc say?”

    His wife sighed and said, “He said you’re probably not going to make it.”

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  • Breakfast Swearing Lesson

    A 7-year-old and a 4-year-old are in their bedroom.

    “You know what?” says the 7-year-old. “I think it’s time we started swearing. When we go downstairs for breakfast, I’ll swear first, then you.”

    “Okay,” replies the 4-year-old.

    In the kitchen, when the mother asks the 7-year-old what he wants for breakfast, he answers, “I’ll have Coco Pops, bitch.” WHACK! He goes flying out of his chair, crying his eyes out.

    The mother looks at the 4-year-old and sternly asks, “And what do you want?”

    “Dunno,” he replies, “but it won’t be fucking Coco Pops.”

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  • Dis-Pear

    Magician: “And for my next trick, I will disappear!”

    Magician: *holds pear*

    “You’re the worst fruit ever!”

  • For Drinking

    A drunk guy wakes up in jail and says, “Why am I here officer?”

    “For drinking,” replies the cop.

    “Great,” says the man. “When do we start?”

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  • What The Hellman

    What The Hellman

  • Looking in Alderaan Places

    If you came here expecting me to drop some awesome Star Wars puns today…

    I’m afraid you’re looking in Alderaan places.

  • The Moth Exterminator

    A man is banging a married woman when suddenly they hear the front door slam. “It’s my husband, hide in the bathroom!” says the woman frantically.

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    The man runs into the bathroom just as the husband enters the bedroom. “Honey, why are you naked?” he asks.

    “I was waiting for you, dear,” she says.

    The husband walks into the bathroom and sees a naked man standing there, poking the ceiling with the toilet plunger. “Who the hell are you?” the husband yells.

    “The moth exterminator,” says the naked man.

    “Why the hell are you naked?” shouts the husband.

    The naked man looks down, jumps back in shock, and yells, “Those sneaky little bastards!”

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  • Hung Like This Jesus

    Hung Like This Jesus

  • The Holy Water Fountain

    Father Rick has lately gotten news that some of the Sisters had been naughty, and he decided to take action. He gathered the Nuns and made them line up in front of the church’s courtyard fountain of holy water.

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    “Now sisters. I understand that desire can be strong. But today you wash away your sins. You name your sin and wash it away with the holy water.”

    The first nun in line admits to having peeked and stared at a penis, so she washes her eyes with the holy water. The second nun admitted to having touched a penis, so she washes her hand in the holy water…

    Then, suddenly, Sister Clarice starts bumping all the other nuns to get to the front of the line.

    “Sister, sister, I appreciate your enthusiasm, but everybody will get their turn.”

    “Well, I’ll tell you what, Father. If I must gargle this holy water, I’m sure going to do it before Sister Marie dunks her ass in it!”

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