An elderly woman is speeding down the highway when she sees a policeman with a radar gun. The policeman signals her to pull over, then walks up to her and asks with a smile, “What’s your hurry?”
“I’m late for work.”
“Sure,” says the officer, “what do you do?”
“I’m a rectal distender.”
“What? A rectal distender? What exactly is that?”
“Well, you see, I start by inserting one finger, then the other, then work up to three fingers, four fingers, until my whole hand is in. I work from side to side until I have both hands in, and then I slowly expand the rectum until it is about six feet wide.”
“And what do you do with a six-foot butthole?”
“I give him a speed gun and put him on the side of the road.”
