Format: setup-punchline

Setup-punchline comedy formats, jokes, memes, and punchlines organized for easier doom-scrolling from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

It’s all moping around and looking under furniture until someone finds a lost eye.

It’s all moping around and looking under furniture until someone finds a lost eye.
I like Katy Perry.

I like Katy Perry. I’m probably not going to buy her album, but if she did a commercial for the Shake-Weight, I’d watch it.
I love asterisks, capital letters, added emphasis and sexual innuendo, but not in *THAT*

I love asterisks, capital letters, added emphasis and sexual innuendo, but not in *THAT* way.
Einstein said: In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.

Einstein said: In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity. But good luck finding the “middle” of anything in 4-dimensional curved space-time.
I may have to reverse the polarity on my car.

I may have to reverse the polarity on my car. It’s supposed to be a total chick magnet, but so far it only seems to repel them.
Apparently there’s this website, WheresGeorge.com, that will enable you enter a serial

Apparently there’s this website, WheresGeorge.com, that will enable you enter a serial number to track where your dollar bills have been. That’s gotta be a lot more accurate than my tasting method.
They say you catch more flies with honey than vinegar.

They say you catch more flies with honey than vinegar. I say: Don’t knock bullshit.
Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine, orders a

Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine, orders a drink, punches a waitress, flashes the room *and* delivers a baby. And guess whose camera-phone battery died!
I don’t care what the judge said, taking that hooker off the streets and into my hotel

I don’t care what the judge said, taking that hooker off the streets and into my hotel room for an hour is community service in my book!
I wouldn’t mind being the last person on earth.

I wouldn’t mind being the last person on earth. At least I could get that “sock puppet on the observation deck of the Eiffel Tower” fantasy out of my head once and for all.