I don’t know the right response for when my wife shows me her new hairdo, but so far I’ve ruled out “What on earth happened?” and “Is it windy out?”
Format: setup-punchline
Setup-punchline comedy formats, jokes, memes, and punchlines organized for easier doom-scrolling from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Mark my words: One day the South will rise again!
Mark my words: One day the South will rise again! Then it’ll take a leak, finish off that can of Mountain Dew and go back to bed.
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Give me liberty or give me a grilled cheese sandwich!
Give me liberty or give me a grilled cheese sandwich! But go ahead and make it with two heels and over-char it a little on one side, so as not to make me look like a complete wuss.
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If I ever start a religion, it’s definitely going to require human sacrifice —
If I ever start a religion, it’s definitely going to require human sacrifice — beginning with the next Jehovah’s Witness that comes to my door.
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Touch my junk?
Touch my junk? If you give me twenty dollars you can haul it away!
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My wife and I want to have a baby.
My wife and I want to have a baby. Well, my wife wants to have a baby; I just want to have sex.
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My dog and I probably need to seek relationship counseling.
My dog and I probably need to seek relationship counseling. I’m looking for nurturing, playful companionship and he’s preoccupied chasing tail.
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Sure, I procrastinate sometimes.
Sure, I procrastinate sometimes. But I still think it’s important to keep the “Christ” in “Presidents Day.”
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During tough economic times like this, I take stock of my life and realize if I’d gone
During tough economic times like this, I take stock of my life and realize if I’d gone to an Ivy League college instead of a state school, I’d still be goofing off right now, but with a much higher salary.
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True, every kiss begins with Kay.
True, every kiss begins with Kay. But guys who expect a little more in return for their gem purchases know the place to buy jewelry is Bjorn’s.
