Format: setup-punchline

Setup-punchline comedy formats, jokes, memes, and punchlines organized for easier doom-scrolling from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • Short Notice

    My son’s doctor called in a panic and exclaimed, “You need to get to my office immediately! I have dire news.” Very worried, I rushed over to find out what was so critical.

    When I arrived, he explained, “After a careful review of your son’s charts, I believe that he won’t grow past five feet tall. I’m very sorry to have to deliver this bad news.”

    I ask, “OK, but why was this such an emergency? Couldn’t this meeting have waited a few days?”

    He answered, “I thought you want to know now, although I’m sorry about the short notice.”

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  • Girl Without Arms Bed

    Girl Without Arms Bed

    Just remember that somewhere out there, a girl without arms… is trying to make her bed.

  • IRS Agent Gets Robbed of His Own Money

    A man is walking on the sidewalk at night when suddenly he’s attacked by a mugger.

    Mugger: “Give me all of your money!”

    Man: “Do you know who I am?! I work for the IRS!”

    Mugger: “Oh? Well in that case, give me all of MY money!”

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  • Daddy Longlegs Stomps Out Gay Spiders

    A little girl was playing in the garden when she spotted two spiders mating.

    “Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?” she asked.

    “They’re mating,” her father replied.

    “What do you call the spider on top, Daddy?” she asked.

    “That’s a daddy longlegs,” her father answered.

    “So, the other one is a mommy longlegs?” the little girl asked.

    “No,” her father replied. “Both of them are daddy longlegs.”

    The little girl thought for a moment, then took her foot and stamped them flat.

    “Well, we’re not having THAT sort of thing in OUR garden!”

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  • Tonto Kowalski, Nice to Meet You

    A businessman boards a flight and is lucky enough to be seated next to an absolutely gorgeous woman. They exchange brief hellos and he notices she is reading a manual about sexual statistics.

    He asks her about it and she replies, “This is a very interesting book about sexual statistics. It identifies that American Indians have the longest average penis and Polish men have the biggest average diameter. By the way, my name is Jill. What’s yours?”

    He coolly replies, “Tonto Kowalski, nice to meet you.”

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  • Deli Salami: No Slicing Required

    A fag walks into a corner deli, takes a number, and waits his turn. Soon, his turn comes up, and the deli boy asks, “Well, what will it be today, sir?”

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    To this, the fag replies, “I’ll have a half pound of roast beef, a pound of your swiss cheese, and I’ll take that nice long salami you’ve got hanging by the window.”

    After slicing the swiss cheese and the beef, the deli boy then asks him, “Sir, would you like me to slice the salami as well?”

    To this the fag replies, “Slice the salami?! What do you think my ass is, a piggy bank?”

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  • Selfish Husband Turns Pleasure Condom Inside Out

    My wife suggested that we use a new type of condom. It had ridges and bumps and feathers on the side and a shape like a chicken head on the top.

    I asked what it was and she explained that it was “especially designed to provide the maximum pleasure for woman”.

    I was having none of this and put it on inside out. Why should she get all the fun?

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  • Bachelor Party Disaster Meets Perfect Comeback

    A guy’s getting married on Saturday. Friday night, his friends take him out, get him waylaid, bylaid, rolaid, mislaid, up, down, up, bing, bang, boom, forget it, his pecker is a mangled mess, he doesn’t know what to do.

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    He takes two popsicle sticks, puts them alongside his dick, and wraps it with adhesive tape. The next day he gets married.

    Here they are in their honeymoon suite… she walks out stark naked… She says, “Look, honey. Untouched by human hands.”

    He’s gotta think quick… He pulls down his pants and says, “Look! Hah! Not even out of the crate.”

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  • Hold On for Eight Seconds

    Do you know what a rodeo fuck is?

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    Your wife/girlfriend gets on all fours. You mount up, making sure you have a good grip.

    Then you say, “Honey, you’re the worst piece of ass I ever had!”

    Then you try to hold on for 8 seconds.

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  • Dating the Anatomically Disproportionate Guy

    “The guy I dated tonight turned out to be a sadist,” reported the girl.

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    “You mean literally–whips and that sort of thing?” asked her roommate.

    “Worse than that! The creep screwed me with a four-inch penis and then French-kissed me goodbye with an eight-inch tongue!”

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