Format: setup-punchline

Setup-punchline comedy formats, jokes, memes, and punchlines organized for easier doom-scrolling from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • Wife’s Anatomy: Not What I Expected

    My wife says it’s okay to have a little penis. I still wish she didn’t have one, though.

  • Ears Have It: A Mistaken Compliment

    A young man is walking through his apartment lobby when he bumps into a gorgeous woman wearing a very loosely-tied robe.

    She begins flirting with him, and after a minute she places her hand on his chest and says, “Let’s go to my place. I hear someone coming.”

    He follows her into her apartment, and once inside she immediately slips off her robe.

    “Tell me,” she purrs, “what do you think is my best feature?”

    “Um, I guess that would be your ears,” he replies nervously.

    “My ears?” she says. “Look at these breasts! And this ass! How can you possibly think that the best part of this body is my ears?”

    “Well,” he stammers, “back in the hall when you said you heard someone coming? That was me.”

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  • Wife’s Accidental Car Meeting Goes Wrong

    Over dinner, a woman said to her husband, “I met this horrible and rude man downtown this morning, and right away I knew he was a troublemaker. He started to insult me; he used really bad language; he even threatened me!”

    “How did you meet this fellow?” He asked, very concerned.

    She said, “Well, we met by accident, I hit him with the car.”

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  • Chevy and Toyota’s Unfortunate Bathroom Breakthrough

    Did you hear that Chevy and Toyota will be working together to build a car at the old Chevette factory?

    The new sportscar will feature bucket seats and automatic wipers.

    It will be called . . . the Toy-a-let.

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  • Nobody Wants to Seem Replaceable at Work

    Judge: Is there any reason you could not serve as a juror in this case?

    Juror: I don’t want to be away from my job that long.

    Judge: Can’t they do without you at work?

    Juror: Yes, but I don’t want them to know it.

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  • Jack and Jill’s Unexpected Workplace Showdown

    There’s a boss who hired two workers (Jack and Jill) last summer as temporaries. The summer is now over, and he doesn’t have the money to keep both workers on, but he CAN keep one. He’s got a problem because they’re both good workers. So he decides to let fate settle his dilemma by firing the first one of the two that goes to the water fountain the next morning.

    Jill is the first to arrive, and, having a headache, takes two aspirins to the water cooler. The boss says to himself, “Well, that’s it then. It’s gotta be Jill.”

    He calls Jill into his office. “Money is tight, and I don’t have enough to keep you AND Jack on the payroll. So I either have to lay you or Jack off.”

    To which Jill replied: “Well, you’ll just have to jack off, because I have a headache.”

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  • Nothing Gets Done Between 7 and 10

    A man was being interviewed for a job. “Were you in the service?” asked the interviewer.

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    “Yes, I was a Marine,” responded the applicant.

    “Did you see any active duty?”

    “I was in Vietnam for two years and I have a partial disability.”

    “May I ask what happened?”

    “Well, I had a grenade go off between my legs and I lost both testicles.”

    “You’re hired. You can start Monday at 10 a.m.”

    “When does everyone else start? I don’t want any preferential treatment because of my disability.”

    “Everyone else starts at 7 a.m. but I might as well be honest with you. Nothing gets done between 7 and 10. We just sit around scratching our balls trying to decide what to do first.”

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  • The Pizza Delivery Guy

    A company, feeling it was time for a shake-up, hires a new CEO. This new boss is determined to rid the company of all slackers. On a tour of the facilities, the CEO notices a guy leaning on a wall. The room is full of workers and he wants to let them know he means business!

    The CEO walks up to the guy and asks, “And how much money do you make a week?”

    A little surprised, the young fellow looks at him and replies, “I make three hundred dollars a week. Why?”

    The CEO then hands the guy $1,200 in cash and screams, “Here’s four weeks’ pay — now GET OUT and don’t come back!”

    Feeling pretty good about his first firing, the CEO looks around the room and asks, “Does anyone want to tell me what that goof-off did here?”

    With a sheepish grin, one of the other workers mutters, “He’s the pizza delivery guy from Domino’s.”

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  • You’re Not Sterile

    A secretary walked into her boss’s office and said, “I’m afraid I’ve got some bad news for you.”

    “Why do you always have to give me bad news?” he complained. “Tell me some good news for once.”

    “All right, here’s some good news,” said the secretary. “You’re not sterile.”

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  • Glitch in the Matrix

    The stunning advances in technology witnessed over the last few years make me believe that anything is possible, however unfathomable. Nonetheless, I wasn’t able to convince my girlfriend that her seeing me in bed with another woman was simply a glitch in the Matrix.