I gave a presentation today in front of 50 people and ended up doing a power puke into the garbage can next to the podium. I was later reprimanded by my boss, who told me a real woman would have swallowed.
Format: short form
Short form comedy formats, jokes, memes, and punchlines organized for easier doom-scrolling from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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I’m terrible at remembering sayings. I can usually come close,
I’m terrible at remembering sayings. I can usually come close, but close only counts in haircuts and handjobs.
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No one was surprised when my flat-chested girlfriend discovered
No one was surprised when my flat-chested girlfriend discovered her family originates from the former Soviet republic of Nojugsistan.
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The good thing about my job in Staffing is that when I hire
The good thing about my job in Staffing is that when I hire people to fuck me, I can ask to re-interview them over and over.
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I didn’t mean to give the old man a heart attack, but I could’ve
I didn’t mean to give the old man a heart attack, but I could’ve sworn he screamed at me to get off ON his lawn.
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I thought those old people were just bad tippers, but it turns
I thought those old people were just bad tippers, but it turns out I was at “poll” — not “pole” — headquarters.
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I lost a bundle wagering on porn the other day. Take my advice
I lost a bundle wagering on porn the other day. Take my advice and don’t bet against the spread.
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My boyfriend’s diabetes is so bad that when I dressed as Candy
My boyfriend’s diabetes is so bad that when I dressed as Candy the Stripper for Halloween, he refused to eat me.
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How did the phrase “balls to the wall” come to mean doing
How did the phrase “balls to the wall” come to mean doing something very quickly? ‘Cause if they were my balls, I guarantee you I would be moving much, much slower.
