Joke Type: one-liner

One-liner jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.

  • Billy Ray and the Bottom Deodorant

    Billy Ray walks into Walgreens and asks the pharmacist for some “Bottom deodorant” for his bottom.

    “Sorry, we don’t sell bottom deodorant,” the pharmacist replies, trying to keep from laughing.

    “Yeah but I always buy it here,” Billy Ray says. “I bought one last month. My wife gets hers from here too!”

    Curious, the pharmacist suggests, “Look, I don’t know what y’all bought before, but maybe you can bring in the empty one of what y’all had next time you come in.”

    “Sure thing,” Billy Ray says. “I’ll bring it in tomorrow.”

    The next day, Billy Ray walks into Walgreens again and hands the pharmacist an almost empty deodorant stick.

    “This is just a normal deodorant,” the man tells Billy Ray. “To use under your arms.”

    “Oh no it is not,” Billy Ray answers. “Look here where it says: TO APPLY, PUSH UP BOTTOM.”

  • He Was 0K

    A chemist froze himself at -273.15°C, and everyone said he was crazy.

    It turns out that he was 0K.

  • Too Many Probing Questions

    Why do aliens make such bad therapists?

    They ask too many probing questions.

  • The End Was in Sight

    As soon as the hospital made me put on one of those little gowns, I knew the end was in sight.

  • Only Have a Croc Pot

    I was going to cook alligator for dinner…

    But then I realized I only have a croc pot.

  • The Lawsuit Against the Hospital

    A woman is suing a hospital, claiming that after recent treatment her husband completely lost interest in physical intimacy.

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    In their defense, the hospital stated:

    “All we did was correct his eyesight.”

  • He Takes Things Personally

    Did you hear about the sensitive burglar?

    He takes things personally!

  • At a Pawn Shop

    Where is the best place to sell a used chess set?

    At a pawn shop.

  • Every Week You Get New Matches

    In other news, there’s a new dating app that caters to arsonists.

    Every week you get new matches!

  • You Carry the One

    How do you get 100 math teachers into a room in which only 99 fit?

    You carry the one.