I gave up courtesy for Lent. So fuck you.
Format: short form
Short form comedy formats, jokes, memes, and punchlines organized for easier doom-scrolling from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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My boyfriend got really excited when I whispered, “Someone’s
My boyfriend got really excited when I whispered, “Someone’s getting anal tonight.” Unfortunately for him, I was referring to his mom’s meticulousness in the kitchen.
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With my luck, I’ll end up with the world’s first diagnosed case
With my luck, I’ll end up with the world’s first diagnosed case of “genital anthrax.” And when they find out I work at the post office, the boss is really going to question my mail-handling procedures.
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When life gives you fellatio, thank it profusely! Of course, you
When life gives you fellatio, thank it profusely! Of course, you ought to wait until you cum first, just in case life changes its mind and decides to give you blue balls instead.
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you’re the only female. But it might be a bitch to get those
you’re the only female. But it might be a bitch to get those blue cumstains off of my dress.
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Haiku: My girlfriend’s hoo-ha Is like Bon Jovi’s album, Slippery
Haiku: My girlfriend’s hoo-ha Is like Bon Jovi’s album, Slippery When Wet.
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A tip for making any Dr. Seuss book tolerable for adults: Try to
A tip for making any Dr. Seuss book tolerable for adults: Try to find as many pictures of genitalia in the illustrations as you can.
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Talk about pulled in two different directions: When her lips
Talk about pulled in two different directions: When her lips finally parted and she took my penis in her mouth, I thought I’d died and gone to heaven. But after I forgot to warn her I was about to cum, I thought she’d murder me.
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To those guys who take a leak at the urinal hands-free, I have
To those guys who take a leak at the urinal hands-free, I have this to say: I *have* to hold mine to keep it from touching the urinal.
