I made the mistake of shopping for a new bed with my wife. While the salesperson was more than happy to indulge her questions about “plushness” and “comfort,” all I received was blank stares when I voiced concerns about the bedframe’s durability when I’m ramming it home.
Format: short form
Short form comedy formats, jokes, memes, and punchlines organized for easier doom-scrolling from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Funny, you’d think my boyfriend would’ve been *more* aroused
Funny, you’d think my boyfriend would’ve been *more* aroused when I emerged from the bathroom naked, purring that I wanted
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After watching a porn movie, I can never recall the entire plot
After watching a porn movie, I can never recall the entire plot — I just remember a few snatches.
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I got my super power the same way Spider-Man did. Except instead
I got my super power the same way Spider-Man did. Except instead of my hand, I got bit on my cock. And instead of a radioactive spider, it was a cheap hooker. And my “power” is Hepatitis C. Other than that though, it’s exactly the same.
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When my boyfriend started calling me his Rose Garden, I thought
When my boyfriend started calling me his Rose Garden, I thought it was because I was sweet and smelled nice. Turns out it was because of all the little pricks I’ve had in my bush.
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Sometimes I sit and think about all the great jack-in-the-box
Sometimes I sit and think about all the great jack-in-the-box references I could make if my name were Jack and I were a gynecologist.
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My dog taught me to how lick my balls. Then he showed me how to
My dog taught me to how lick my balls. Then he showed me how to scratch behind my ear with my back leg, because I needed TWO tricks for this last New Year’s Eve party.
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The reason I keep going back to Cherry is that she appreciates
The reason I keep going back to Cherry is that she appreciates my eccentricities, like using exactly 2.5 tablespoons of lube, and that it has to be applied clockwise to both my cock and her sphincter, once before and once midway through. Yep, I’m *very* anal about anal.
