vivivictoria: hey gang im ordering 14 dollars worth of soda and nothing else from my local dominos
im thorsty
vivivictoria: He better not fucking have
YOUR ORDER IS IN THE OVEN – Majkiiwis put your order in the oven at 2:47 PM.
Format: social media post
Social media post comedy formats, jokes, memes, and punchlines organized for easier doom-scrolling from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Antivaxxer Microbiologist
Ahmad @BlkMamba: Just found out my coworker is a antivaxxer.. we’re microbiologists
JS @foamtherunway: I work with a flat earther… at an airline.
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Slip Into Something Comfortable
allow me to slip into something more comfortable ~
*gets in my car and leaves*
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Job Interview Today
My Girlfriend is so sweet. She sent me this pic from her job interview today. Good luck
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Choose a Major You Love
@bratgirlcore
choose a major you love and you’ll never work a day in your life bc that field isn’t hiring
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Ghost From 2007
How comes when a house is ‘haunted’ it’s always a ghost from the 1700s? Imagine a ghost from 2007 screaming “ITS BRITNEY BITCH” at 3am
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Didnt Even Turn Up
ben @rokthedisco
Just had a message from a random guy asking to meet in the woods to compare dick sizes, fucking weirdo didn’t even turn up
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Same Dad Hotwheels
Im horny
yo hold up
is that a 2002 Ferrari F355 Spider hotwheels on your nght?
my dad used to have one hanging in the rearview mirror, one night he got in to ar accident and the airbag impaled it into his face
no shit retard we have the same dad
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My Wife Likes Me
LADE HERSELF @ThebigLade
Men truly don’t realize when a woman has a crush on them, do they??
SilverFox @dantwodaughters · 3h
I don’t even know if my wife likes me.
