BREAKING NEWS: A man was admitted to the hospital today with 25 plastic toy horses inserted in his rectum. Doctors have described his condition as stable.
KCCI NEWS 8
Format: text
Text comedy formats, jokes, memes, and punchlines organized for easier doom-scrolling from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Prostate Exam
Dr: you need to stop masturbating
Me: for how long?
Dr: at least until I finish your prostate exam
Me: fair enough
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Dad Behind Me
Lost my virginity today… made me remember when i first learnt how to ride a bike. My dad was behind me the whole time
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Baby Shower So Fucking Clean
My girlfriend’s been at a baby shower for like 3 hours that baby’s gotta be so fucking clean by now what the fuck are they even doing
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Side Chick Food Truck
“Hear me out – a food truck that sells chicken sandwiches. I’ll park it next to Chick-Fil-A and it’ll only be open on Sunday’s. I’ll call it Side Chick”
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This Contest Is Hard
Jon @ArfMeasures
Me *swallowing 4th wet t-shirt* this contest is hard
11:15 AM – 31 May 19 – Twitter for Android
2,711 Retweets 20K Likes
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Turning Point USA Irony
Turning Point USA was founded in 2012 by Charlie Kirk and Bill Montgomery.
Two of their major policy pushes were a more prominent gun culture and zero COVID restrictions.
Bill Montgomery died to the COVID virus.
Charlie Kirk died to gun violence.
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Do You Swear? No.
judge: do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth
me: no
judge: [covers mic] what do I do
