Rap version: If I had a hammer, I’d hammer in the morning, I’d hammer in the evening, All over this motherfucker.
Format: text
Text comedy formats, jokes, memes, and punchlines organized for easier doom-scrolling from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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This DVD box says, “The Director’s Cut.” Why the fuck should *I*
This DVD box says, “The Director’s Cut.” Why the fuck should *I* care what his penis looks like?
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Ladies, it’s important that you pay attention to the idioms you
Ladies, it’s important that you pay attention to the idioms you use when speaking to your man. There’s a subtle but crucial difference between telling him you’re planning to “blow him off” and “blow him.”
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I picked my fiance’s wedding party very carefully: someone old,
I picked my fiance’s wedding party very carefully: someone old, someone new, someone borrowed and someone I blew.
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Fasterbate; verb – to attempt to quickly finish rubbing one out
Fasterbate; verb – to attempt to quickly finish rubbing one out in a place where discovery of the activity would be extremely awkward, such as at the urinal, in one’s cubicle or waiting at the drive-thru at In-and-Out Burger.
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Handy household tip: When realigning a screen door that’s
Handy household tip: When realigning a screen door that’s slipped off the track, try using “shit piss motherfucking cocksucker.”
