Me: wanna fuck? 👀
Her: Why do u have to say it like that? Its supposed to be a magical moment
Me: Alakazam let me slam
Format: text
Text comedy formats, jokes, memes, and punchlines organized for easier doom-scrolling from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Spicy Butt Pancakes
DEEP THOUGHT: Why is spicy the only flavor my butt can detect?
Why can’t I eat pancakes and then 14 hours later be like OOH PANCAKES AGAIN
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Stephen King Has a Son Named Joe
Stephen King has a son named Joe.
I’m not joking, but he is.
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Spiderman Eats Thieves
Spider-Man Spider-Man
Does whatever a spider can
Spins a web Any size
Catches thieves Eats those guys
Hey wait Don’t do that Spider-Man
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Jesus Lepers TV
My favorite Bible story is probably the one where Jesus tells the lepers to get used to the idea that a lot of them are going to die, and then he goes on TV to brag about what a great job he’s doing.
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Stop Biting Our Cheeks by 66
It takes 10,000 hours to become an expert at something and we chew food for an average of 25 minutes per day. Using that logic, we will stop biting our cheeks by the age of 66.
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Insufficient Funds ATM
I think banks should do a better job by keeping their ATMs filled. This is the fifth one I’ve been to, kept saying “insufficient funds” 🙄😐
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Selling My Nudes
Times are tough so once again I will be selling my nudes.
$5 to get one
$25 not to get one
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Gender Pay Gap Flipped
This quarantine is affecting everyone in the work force, but it especially sucks for men
We’re losing $1 for every $.79 women are losing
