My dad must be really be taking this social distancing shit seriously, I haven’t seen him in 23 years
Format: text
Text comedy formats, jokes, memes, and punchlines organized for easier doom-scrolling from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Put Some Xs
See you later, love you xxx
Love you too
Babe it would mean a lot to me if you’d put some X’s at the end of your replies xxx
Ok, love you too Donna, Jackie, Karen and Becky
Fuckin prick!!!
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Slip Into Something Comfortable
allow me to slip into something more comfortable ~
*gets in my car and leaves*
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Big Fucking Boat
God: Build a big fucking boat
Noah: Do you mean a very large boat or a boat made for fucking.
God: *pauses*
God: Both
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Ghost From 2007
How comes when a house is ‘haunted’ it’s always a ghost from the 1700s? Imagine a ghost from 2007 screaming “ITS BRITNEY BITCH” at 3am
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Didnt Even Turn Up
ben @rokthedisco
Just had a message from a random guy asking to meet in the woods to compare dick sizes, fucking weirdo didn’t even turn up
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Open Box Before Eating Pizza
Americans: We have the most advanced country in the world.
Also Americans:
[Open box before eating pizza.]
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Cut My Leash Into Pieces
Cut my leash into pieces
This is my bestest bork
Domestication
No Breeding
Cant give a heck
Cause they neutered my weenie
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Same Dad Hotwheels
Im horny
yo hold up
is that a 2002 Ferrari F355 Spider hotwheels on your nght?
my dad used to have one hanging in the rearview mirror, one night he got in to ar accident and the airbag impaled it into his face
no shit retard we have the same dad
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Note to self: It’s not “boner-fide” opportunity. Follow-up note
Note to self: It’s not “boner-fide” opportunity. Follow-up note to self: Who cares? I got the job!
