Joke Type: adult humor

Adult humor jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.

  • Cindy the Witch

    A guy goes to a whorehouse, feeling extremely horny. He’s willing to pay big money. The madame realizes that all her girls are currently occupied, but she doesn’t want to lose out on the cash. So she gets an idea.

    She puts a blow-up doll in a darkened room. Then she goes back to the guy and says, “You can have Cindy. She’s very shy and doesn’t speak or react, and she likes to do it with the lights off. But you can do anything you want with her, she won’t complain.”

    The guy pays his money and goes up to the room.

    Ten minutes later he runs back down, naked, screaming, “Cindy’s a witch! Cindy’s a witch!”

    “What’s wrong?” asks the madame.

    “Well, you told me I could do what I like with Cindy, so I thought I’d try some rough stuff!”

    “What happened?”

    “I bit her tit and she flew out the window!”

  • The Wizard’s Choice

    When I was a kid, a wizard gave me a choice — to have a giant dick, or perfect memory.

    I forgot which one I picked.

  • Wait for the Bulb to Cool Off

    Wait for the Bulb to Cool Off

    My girlfriend and I had sex a couple of days ago. She looked at me and said, “Turn the light off and stick it in my butt”. I guess I should have waited for the bulb to cool off first.

  • Lego Fleshlight

    Lego Fleshlight

    Lego fleshlight. And you thought stepping on them hurt…

  • Fuck Trump Doesn’t Mean That

    Fuck Trump Doesn’t Mean That

    EVERYBODY WANTS TO HAVE SEX WITH ME

    DONALD THATS NOT WHAT “FUCK TRUMP” MEANS

  • Hotel Room 332 – I Assume the Porn Is Disabled? No It’s Only Regular Porn You Sick Fuck

    Hotel Room 332 – I Assume the Porn Is Disabled? No It’s Only Regular Porn You Sick Fuck

    hotel: room 332, enjoy ur stay

    dad: i assume the porn is disabled?

    hotel: no it’s only regular porn you sick fuck

  • NuDen – Only Stripper in the World With 3 Boobs

    NuDen – Only Stripper in the World With 3 Boobs

    NuDen – what’s your fantasy?

    ONLY STRIPPER IN THE WORLD WITH 3 BOOBS

    JUNE 13-16 AMAZING

    Plan your summer accordingly.

  • Fleshlight Powered by Kobe – Steve Harvey

    Fleshlight Powered by Kobe – Steve Harvey

    FLESHLIGHT

    FLESHLIGHT

    POWERED BY KOBE

    Steve Harvey

  • A Finger in Her Ass Will Eliminate the Gag Reflex

    A Finger in Her Ass Will Eliminate the Gag Reflex

    A finger in her ass will eliminate the gag reflex

    This is science … you can’t debate it … just try it …

  • I Don’t Think My Porn Finished Downloading

    I Don’t Think My Porn Finished Downloading

    I don’t think my porn finished downloading.