Why is a double amputee happier than an able-bodied person?
Because they never start off on the wrong foot.
Joke Type: dark humor
Dark humor jokes, grim punchlines, and comedy from the questionable end of the emotional buffet from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.
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Thinking Outside The Box Gary
(At my boss’s funeral kneeling and whispering at coffin)
“Who’s thinking outside the box now Gary?”
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Dear God Most Likely Yes
OFFICER: the victims were dismembered and sacrificed on an altar made of antlers
DETECTIVE: dear god
OFFICER: most likely yes
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The Ice Cube Rating System
“I didn’t have to use my AK, today was a good day.” Honestly, a perfectly scalable life satisfaction metric.
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The Greatest Headline of Our Generation
A Tumblr hall-of-famer: suicidal trip to Mexico pivots hard into a week-long coke and hookers bender, and the patient decides life might be worth sticking around for after all. Poetry.
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Removing It From the Church
What’s the hardest part of being an organ donor?
Removing it from the church.
