Draft only — do not auto-publish.
Content note: religion-targeted insult humor. Review before publishing.
What’s the difference between a cow and a crucifixion?
You can’t milk a cow for 2,000 years.
Joke Type: dark humor
Dark humor jokes, grim punchlines, and comedy from the questionable end of the emotional buffet from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.
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Weekend at Tut’s
When a pharaoh died, I bet the servants tried all sorts of tricks to make people think he was just sleeping, because of the tradition of burying the servants alive with the pharaoh to serve him in the afterlife. Kind of a whole “Weekend at Tut’s” thing.
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Eating a Vegetable
Q: What is the hardest part about eating a vegetable?
A: Putting her back into her wheelchair.
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Duct Tape and a Gerbil
Why do you have to wrap duct tape around a gerbil?
So that it doesn’t explode when you sodomize it.
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Multiple Autobiographies
The cool thing about having multiple personality disorder is that you get to write a shitload of autobiographies!
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The Cola Wars
Call me embittered, but I lost a mother and two brothers to the Cola Wars, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to lose my pop!
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Mr Foley Halloween Candy
Once again Mr. Foley figures that he saves nearly twenty dollars per year on Halloween candy.
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Dark Humor Warning: Shocking Punchline Ahead
This guy and this girl are rampantly having sex. During a lull in the passion, the guy asks the girl to turn over.
“Why?” asks the girl.
“Because I want to try something different,” says the guy.
“That’s perverted!” says the girl.
“What did you say?” asks the guy.
“I said that’s perverted.”
“I’m sorry, I’m not quite sure I heard properly – what did you say?”
“I said that’s perverted.”
“Shit,” says the guy, “that’s a big word for a five year-old.”
