SO I WAS CHILLIN’ WITH MY HOMIES AT THE LAST SUPPER AND I WAS LIKE BROS… THIS FOOD YOUR EATING IS MY BODY.. THEY WERE ALL LIKE NO WAY!
AND I WAS LIKE, YAHWEH
Joke Type: dialogue
Dialogue jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.
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It’s Really Muggy Out – I’m Leaving You – Sips Coffee From Bowl
Max Dylan Ash @mynameisntdave
ME: honey, it’s really muggy out today
WIFE: if I go outside & all our mugs are on the front lawn, I’m leaving u
ME: *sips coffee from bowl*
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I Struck Down a Jedi – Yes Use Your Hate
Gringo Brulee @GringoBrulee
Wife: wtf is this pile of clothes doing on the floor?
Me: I struck down a Jedi.
W: god I hate you.
M: yes, use your hate
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Can You Give the Kids a Talk on Drugs – I Talk a Lot of Shit When I’m High
Wife: Can you give the kids a talk on drugs?
Me: Ok but I talk a lot of shit when I’m high
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My Fish Is Very Dry – We Had to Take Him Out of the Water – Smart
john @mrjohndarby
me: my fish is very dry
waiter: yes, we had to take him out of the water
me: smart
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So Dracula Won’t Try to Eat My Ass – Garlic in My Pants
m@thew @TweetPotato314
wife: why r u putting garlic in ur pants
me: so dracula won’t try to eat my ass
wife: why would dracula try to eat ur ass
me: he won’t. the garlic- r u even listening
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Hotel Room 332 – I Assume the Porn Is Disabled? No It’s Only Regular Porn You Sick Fuck
hotel: room 332, enjoy ur stay
dad: i assume the porn is disabled?
hotel: no it’s only regular porn you sick fuck
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I Should Probably Pull Out – They’ve Already Done the Autopsy
ME: I SHOULD PROBABLY PULL OUT
OTHER ME: DUDE, THEY’VE ALREADY DONE THE AUTOPSY
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Does Your Mom Count? – Heavy Machinery Interview
interviewer: any experience operating heavy machinery?
guy: does your mom count?
interviewer: lmao fuck you’re hired
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Why Am I Black and You’re White? Lucky You Don’t Bark
A boy asks his mom, “Why am i black and you’re white?”
Mom replied, “Don’t even go there. The way that party went. You’re lucky you don’t bark”
