Q: What did one sperm cell say to the other sperm cell?
A: Last one there gets a rotten egg!
Joke Type: misunderstanding
Misunderstanding jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.
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Someone’s Coming
One evening Snow White decided she was sleepy and announced to the seven dwarfs that she was going to bed. After the usual lengthy round of “Good Nights” she went upstairs.
Immediately all seven dwarfs rushed outside and began standing on each others’ shoulders beneath Snow White’s bedroom window. Tonight was Grumpy’s turn to be on the top and as he was the only one who could see in the window it was his duty to inform the other dwarfs what she was doing.
After a minute or two he hollered down, “She’s taking off her blouse!” and this was echoed down the stack — “Taking off her blouse,” “She’s taking off her blouse,” “Blouse is coming off,” “Taking off her blouse,” etc.
Next Grumpy yelled, “She’s taking off her skirt,” which was followed by the echoes — “Taking off her skirt,” “She’s taking off her skirt,” “Skirt’s coming off,” “Taking off her skirt,” etc.
Of course the next line from Grumpy was, “She’s taking off her bra!” and the echo chorus went down the line: “She’s taking off her bra!” “She’s taking off her bra!” “She’s taking off her bra!” etc.
Then Grumpy said, “She’s taking off her panties!” which again cascaded down the dwarf tower. “She’s taking off her panties!” “She’s taking off her panties!” “She’s taking off her panties!” “She taking off her panties!” etc.
Finally Grumpy looked around and from his vantage height saw someone coming through the woods so he yelled, “Someone’s coming!”
And from the next dwarf to the bottom dwarf was heard, “Me too.” “Me too.” “Me too.” “Me too.” “Me too.” “Me too.”
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Alone When Doing Number Two
The old song says, “One is the loneliest number you could ever do.” I don’t know about you, but I’d much rather be alone when I’m doing number two.
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Robin Hood Strength
Robin Hood: *Gives stolen gold to little boy*
Little Kid: Thank you I’m rich now!
Robin Hood:
I know what I have to do but I don’t know if I have the strength to do it.
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Sawed Off Shotgun Valentine
My son got suspended from school for asking a girl to be his valentine and chasing her with a sawed off shotgun
#BoysWillBeBoys
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Nothing Would Please Me More
Husband: I’m getting you diamonds for our anniversary
Wife: Nothing would please me more
Husband: *Gets her nothing instead*
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The Shower Drain
A young wife, freshly shaved, walks out of her bathroom into the master bedroom.
She lifts her teddy, revealing nothing underneath, licks her lips, winks, and says, “Sweetie, you know what this means, don’t you.”
Her young husband replies, “Yes, damn it, I am gonna have to spend all weekend unclogging the shower drain.”
