Misunderstanding jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.
A young boy was watching TV with his father while his mother prepared the dinner in the kitchen. After a while, the kid wanders into the kitchen and asks, “Mummy, are the Spice Girls robots?”
His mother replies, “No, dear, they aren’t. Why do you ask?”
“Well, daddy just said that he’d like to screw the arse off the black one.”
This guy is driving through California and picks up a hitchhiker. They continue down the road until they come upon a sheep with its head caught in the fence. The driver, overcome with emotion, pulls off the road and says, “Oh, I can’t just drive past without doing something about this… I’ll be right back.”
He gets out of the car, goes up to the sheep, and starts fucking it from behind. When done, he walks back to the car and gets in.
The California guy goes, “Damn! I’ve never seen anything like that.”
The driver says, “You ought to try it, it’s fantastic.”
The California guy goes, “…Yea, it did look like a lot of fun, what the hell, I’ll do it!”
He gets out of the car, walks over to the fence, and sticks his head through it.
Q: What did one sperm cell say to the other sperm cell?
A: Last one there gets a rotten egg!
One evening Snow White decided she was sleepy and announced to the seven dwarfs that she was going to bed. After the usual lengthy round of “Good Nights” she went upstairs.
Immediately all seven dwarfs rushed outside and began standing on each others’ shoulders beneath Snow White’s bedroom window. Tonight was Grumpy’s turn to be on the top and as he was the only one who could see in the window it was his duty to inform the other dwarfs what she was doing.
After a minute or two he hollered down, “She’s taking off her blouse!” and this was echoed down the stack — “Taking off her blouse,” “She’s taking off her blouse,” “Blouse is coming off,” “Taking off her blouse,” etc.
Next Grumpy yelled, “She’s taking off her skirt,” which was followed by the echoes — “Taking off her skirt,” “She’s taking off her skirt,” “Skirt’s coming off,” “Taking off her skirt,” etc.
Of course the next line from Grumpy was, “She’s taking off her bra!” and the echo chorus went down the line: “She’s taking off her bra!” “She’s taking off her bra!” “She’s taking off her bra!” etc.
Then Grumpy said, “She’s taking off her panties!” which again cascaded down the dwarf tower. “She’s taking off her panties!” “She’s taking off her panties!” “She’s taking off her panties!” “She taking off her panties!” etc.
Finally Grumpy looked around and from his vantage height saw someone coming through the woods so he yelled, “Someone’s coming!”
And from the next dwarf to the bottom dwarf was heard, “Me too.” “Me too.” “Me too.” “Me too.” “Me too.” “Me too.”
The old song says, “One is the loneliest number you could ever do.” I don’t know about you, but I’d much rather be alone when I’m doing number two.
Robin Hood: *Gives stolen gold to little boy*
Little Kid: Thank you I’m rich now!
Robin Hood:
I know what I have to do but I don’t know if I have the strength to do it.
My son got suspended from school for asking a girl to be his valentine and chasing her with a sawed off shotgun
#BoysWillBeBoys
Husband: I’m getting you diamonds for our anniversary
Wife: Nothing would please me more
Husband: *Gets her nothing instead*
