Joke Type: misunderstanding

Misunderstanding jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.

  • The Morgue

    A man got fired from his job for having sex during work hours. When his boss asked why he did it, the man replied, “I don’t know man, she was just lying there naked. I kinda got the hint so we fucked.”

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    He was never hired at another morgue again.

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  • Magnifying Glass Penis Enlarger

    Magnifying Glass Penis Enlarger

    “Man buys product that promised to enlarge his penis and gets a magnifying glass”

    Homem compra produto que prometia aumentar pênis e recebe lupa

    PROCON Campina

    PREFEITURA MUNICIPAL DE CAMPINA SECRETARIA MUNICIPAL DE ASSUNTOS JURÍDICOS Departamento de Proteção ao Consumidor

    disque 151 www.procon.campina.sp.gov.br

  • The Stuttering Clerk

    A really huge muscular guy with a bad stutter walks up to a counter in a department store and asks, “W-w-w-where’s the m-m-m-men’s dep-p-p-partment?”

    The clerk behind the counter just looks at him and says nothing.

    The man repeats himself: “W-w-w-where’s the m-m-m-men’s dep-p-p-partment?”

    Again, the clerk doesn’t answer him.

    The guy asks several more times: “W-w-w-where’s the m-m-m-men’s dep-p-p-partment?”

    And the clerk just seems to ignore him.

    Finally, the guy storms away in anger after not being answered.

    The customer who was waiting in line behind the muscular guy asks the clerk, “Why wouldn’t you answer that guy’s question?”

    The clerk replies, “D-d-d-do you th-th-th-think I w-w-w-want to get b-b-b-beat up?!”

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  • Your Son Is an Artist!

    A man goes to school to have a meeting with his son’s teachers. He walks into the first classroom and says, “Hello, I’m Giotto’s father. Please excuse me if I sound a bit strange, but I burned my tongue yesterday.”

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    The teacher sighs and says, “Look, we really needed to talk to you. Your son is struggling. He doesn’t know his times tables, he doesn’t know the American states… he doesn’t even know which state he’s in right now! You really need to have a talk with him.”

    “I’m so sorry,” the father replies. “I’ll speak with him tonight. But again, please forgive my speech; I really scorched my tongue.”

    He then moves on to the art teacher’s office. “Hello, I’m Giotto’s father. Please excuse my voice, I burned my tongue yesterday.”

    The art teacher beams. “Oh, don’t worry about that! I have to tell you, your son is a prodigy. He’s incredible! Just yesterday, he drew a basket of fruit so realistically that all the other children gathered around trying to pick a piece to eat!”

    The father nods and says, “I know, I know… yesterday he drew a vagina on the stove.”

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  • The Strip Club

    One afternoon, a child told his mother that he had visited the strip club. His mother was upset about this! “Well, did you see anything that you weren’t supposed to see?” she questioned her son.

    “Yes — I saw Dad!” he said.

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  • The Confessional

    A drunk staggers into a Catholic church, enters a confessional booth, sits down, but says nothing.

    The priest coughs a few times to get his attention, but the drunk continues to sit there.

    Finally, the priest pounds three times on the wall.

    The drunk mumbles, “Ain’t no use knockin’, there’s no paper on this side either.”

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  • COVID Testing in the Rear

    COVID Testing in the Rear

    “And I thought it was a nasal swab.”

    COVID TESTING IN THE REAR

  • Holy Spirit Strangling Hookers

    Holy Spirit Strangling Hookers

    “Wooooo… I am the Holy Spirit! What you are doing is a SIN!”

    “Nonsense—masturbation is healthy and natural.”

    “No, I meant strangling hookers.”

    “Oh, right. Tbat.”

  • It Looks Like You’re Pregnant

    It Looks Like You’re Pregnant

    it looks like you’re pregnant

    I’m pregnant?!

    No, but it looks like you are.