Observational Jokes, Memes & Dark Humor

Constipated Memory

Constipated woman ‘lost 10 years of memory’ after straining too hard on toilet

me coming out of the chipotle bathroom:

I have no memory of this place.

DEEP THOUGHT: Why is spicy the only flavor my butt can detect?

Why can’t I eat pancakes and then 14 hours later be like OOH PANCAKES AGAIN

White person: Wow this sure is spicy!

Me: It’s a salad

White person: The sauce is burning me up

Me: …the ranch?

White Person: Ow ouch ouch

if I was a worm I’d sleep in and make those early birds feel so fuckin dumb

The first thing black ppl say when it’s a mass shooting.

WHEEL OF FORTUNE

IS IT BAD THAT I LAUGH WHEN THIS GUY SAYS “I’D LIKE TO BUY AN I”

I’m not allowed to sunbathe on the roof anymore

My hand right after I wake up in the morning:

On my way woody!

I DON’T THINK THERE’S ACTUALLY FIVE GUYS IN THIS.

BRYAN COUNTY JAIL

WOMAN IN BRYAN COUNTY SUCKS OFF MAN’S PENIS

Doyle Hargraves

HOW MUCH IS HER BOND?