Joke Type: observational

Observational jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.

  • Hooters Every Ten Years

    Two guys grow up together, but after college one moves to Georgia and the other to Texas. They agree to meet every ten years in Florida to play golf and catch up with each other’s stories.

    At age thirty-two they meet, finish their round of golf, and head for lunch. “Where do you wanna go?”

    “Hooters.”

    “Why Hooters?”

    “They have those servers with the big boobs, the tight shorts, and the gorgeous legs.”

    “Perfect, you’re on.”

    At age forty-two, they meet and play golf again. “Where do you wanna go for lunch?”

    “Hooters.”

    “Again? Why?”

    “They have cold beer, big-screen TVs, and side action on the games.”

    “Yeah, boy! Let’s do it!”

    At age fifty-two they meet and play again. “So, where do you wanna go for lunch?”

    “Hooters.”

    “Why?”

    “The food is pretty good and there’s plenty of parking.”

    “OK.”

    At age sixty-two they meet again. After a round of golf, one says, “Where do you wanna go?”

    “Hooters.”

    “Why?”

    “Wings are half price and the food isn’t too spicy.”

    “Good choice.”

    At age seventy-two they meet again. Once again, after a round of golf, one says, “Where shall we go for lunch?”

    “Hooters.”

    “Why?”

    “They have six handicapped parking spaces right by the door and they have senior discounts.”

    “Great choice.”

    At age eighty-two they meet and play again. “Where should we go for lunch?”

    “Hooters.”

    “Why?”

    “Because we’ve never been there before.”

    “OK, let’s give it a try!”

  • 3.8 Billion Women

    3.8 Billion Women

    3.8 billion women on the planet…

    You’d Think it would be clean by now.

  • It Was Just a Meme

    It Was Just a Meme

    WHEN YOUR GIRL SEE YOU SMILING AT YOUR PHONE

    “Go fuckin be with her if she’s So funny”

    “it was just a meme”

  • Not Jake From State Farm

    Not Jake From State Farm

    When you were talking on the phone at 3 a.m. and it wasn’t Jake from State Farm

  • VHS Roulette

    VHS Roulette

    VHS roulette: A very dangerous game to play. Is it porn or a birthday party?

  • Bumpin Dakota

    Bumpin Dakota

    BUMPIN DAKOTA MINNESOTA WISCONSIN MICHIGAN Chicago Toronto OHIO Kansis City KANSAS OKLAHOMA Dallas Houston Louisiana GEORGIA FLORIDA MEXICO Google

    M’ikez 2/28/17

  • To California

    To California

    To: CALIFORNIA

    Dab.

  • Birth Control Drug

    Birth Control Drug

    When she crushes up her birth control an snorts it:

    Drug

  • Carry Stuff Under Nutsacks

    Carry Stuff Under Nutsacks

    WHAT IF GUYS CARRIED STUFF UNDER THEIR NUTSACKS

    THE SAME WAY THAT GIRLS CARRY STUFF IN THEIR BOOBS

  • Blue Eyes Job Interview

    Blue Eyes Job Interview

    [Job interview]

    “What are ur strengths?”

    Me: I fall in love easily.

    “umm okay… what are ur weaknesses?”

    Me: Those blue eyes of yours.