Salesman: *slaps USA* you can fit so many fucking idiots in this bad boy
Joke Type: observational
Observational jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.
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The Ladies’ Tee Box
A guy is golfing at an upscale course and goes to hit the ball from the red tees. A staff member is driving by in his cart and grabs a megaphone: “Will the gentleman on hole four please move his ball back to the white markers, and not hit from the ladies’ tee box?”
The guy yells back, “Will the guy in the golf cart please shut the fuck up so I can take my second shot?”
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Open Box Before Eating Pizza
Americans: We have the most advanced country in the world.
Also Americans:
[Open box before eating pizza.]
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Cut My Leash Into Pieces
Cut my leash into pieces
This is my bestest bork
Domestication
No Breeding
Cant give a heck
Cause they neutered my weenie
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Pretty Good Footage
My cellphone accidentally took a 10-minute video of my shoes yesterday…
It was some pretty good footage.
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Same Dad Hotwheels
Im horny
yo hold up
is that a 2002 Ferrari F355 Spider hotwheels on your nght?
my dad used to have one hanging in the rearview mirror, one night he got in to ar accident and the airbag impaled it into his face
no shit retard we have the same dad
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Dishwasher Chopping Vegetables
HIM: the dishwasher is acting weird
HER: what’s it doing
HIM: chopping fucking vegetables
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My Wife Likes Me
LADE HERSELF @ThebigLade
Men truly don’t realize when a woman has a crush on them, do they??
SilverFox @dantwodaughters · 3h
I don’t even know if my wife likes me.
