You’d have to think the worst thing about being one of those dudes that get paid to hold up signs is knowing that at any moment, you could lose your job to a stick or a staple.
Joke Type: observational
Observational jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.
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Hangovers are temporary; memories are forever.
Hangovers are temporary; memories are forever. Unless you were too drunk to remember them, that is.
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Oh, look, it’s a little Bill Clinton head!
Oh, look, it’s a little Bill Clinton head! Smells like cheeseburger! Ah, Teddy Roosevelt. The Square Deal tastes like cherry, I guess. And JFK! How in the world do they get that detail in a little piece of candy? Man, these Prez dispensers are great!
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Since I was born with only four fingers, I’d like to marry someone else who has the same
Since I was born with only four fingers, I’d like to marry someone else who has the same number of fingers as I do. I mean, besides a drunk carpenter or a kid with a buzz saw.
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If GOP candidate Mike Huckabee’s is elected president, he plans to build a fence to keep
If GOP candidate Mike Huckabee’s is elected president, he plans to build a fence to keep the aliens out of the U.S. Maybe I’m the moron here, but it seems that once you manage to traverse the entire galaxy, it’s unlikely that eight feet of chain link is going to stop you.
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How many times does the world’s oldest man have to die before somebody takes this crisis
How many times does the world’s oldest man have to die before somebody takes this crisis seriously?!!
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The automakers’ names for their trucks are all very macho-sounding: Titan, Silverado,
The automakers’ names for their trucks are all very macho-sounding: Titan, Silverado, Ram, Tundra, Sierra, etc. That’s why I don’t understand why Chevy wasn’t interested in my concept for the Chevy Smokin’ Skidmark.
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Just remember: If it weren’t for animal testing, we wouldn’t know that animal testing
Just remember: If it weren’t for animal testing, we wouldn’t know that animal testing can be harmful to animals.
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Sometimes, when I’m sure people can only see the back of my head, I enjoy sneaking in a
Sometimes, when I’m sure people can only see the back of my head, I enjoy sneaking in a quick catnap at work. They never last very long, though, because invariably someone rings the bell telling me they want to get off my bus.
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I think they should put one-way aisles in grocery stores.
I think they should put one-way aisles in grocery stores. It would really improve the flow of traffic, although it would no doubt be embarrassing if your friends saw you getting ticketed by the dairy clerk.
