Wouldn’t it be great if pharmacies had people handing out samples like they do at the supermarket? I guess the drug companies just aren’t as market-savvy as those pork rind people.
Joke Type: observational
Observational jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.
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Barring a rash of immaculate conceptions, you’ve got to think we’re on our last
Barring a rash of immaculate conceptions, you’ve got to think we’re on our last generation of on-line gamers and role playing geeks.
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The strange irony is that my mother told me there’d be days like this — including the
The strange irony is that my mother told me there’d be days like this — including the bit about the man in the tinfoil hat groping himself on the subway platform.
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Eskimo kisses are nice and French kisses are lots of fun, but you might want to think
Eskimo kisses are nice and French kisses are lots of fun, but you might want to think twice before combining them.
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My new co-workers at the slaughterhouse have been great, patiently showing me the ropes
My new co-workers at the slaughterhouse have been great, patiently showing me the ropes without any of the hazing I’d feared. I will say, though, that I hope the Testicle Fairy visits soon, because my pillow is starting to smell awful.
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If I’m to believe Occam’s Razor — that all things being equal, the most obvious answer
If I’m to believe Occam’s Razor — that all things being equal, the most obvious answer is usually the correct answer — then I must sadly admit that all spammers probably don’t share the exact same name and email address as my wife, and that all those “male enlargement” spam messages are actually from my wife.
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A dead camel with two humps may be in the shape of a heart, but it makes a poor Valentine.
A dead camel with two humps may be in the shape of a heart, but it makes a poor Valentine.
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Infomercials should only be viewed between 3 a.m.
Infomercials should only be viewed between 3 a.m. and 6 a.m. That’s when you’re desperate for sleep and watching George Foreman grill meat somehow makes sense on a higher metaphysical plane.
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If I grind too far, it breaks; but if I don’t grind enough, I cannot write.
If I grind too far, it breaks; but if I don’t grind enough, I cannot write. There’s something really Buddhist about this damn pencil sharpener.
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I cried because I had no shoes.
I cried because I had no shoes. Then I met a man in an Amsterdam brothel with a diaper on and a rubber chicken on his head, who was the victim of a botched sex-change operation in a Tijuana prison. That pretty much shut me up.
