After 10 years of marriage, my wife and I have a comfortable routine: I get sex after she goes on a shopping bender, then waits till I cum before informing me how much she spent.
Joke Type: observational
Observational jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.
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The elevator at work is possessed by horny demons! Every time I
The elevator at work is possessed by horny demons! Every time I get in, there’s a mystical voice that says, “Going down.”
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I can always tell when I’m getting better after being sick when
I can always tell when I’m getting better after being sick when I again feel well enough to jerk off to Shake-Weight commericals on YouTube.
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Maybe it’s just me, but I’d bet if you whispered, “Be gentle,”
Maybe it’s just me, but I’d bet if you whispered, “Be gentle,” to your cellmate, it’s pretty likely just the OPPOSITE is going to happen.
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I like threesomes with two girls and one guy better than those
I like threesomes with two girls and one guy better than those with two guys and one girl. It makes sense, given human nature: See, girls like variety while guys only like pussy.
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Location is everything. A three-hole punch on an office printer
Location is everything. A three-hole punch on an office printer table: mundane. A three-hole punch on an S&M; buffet table: nasty.
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I think if I were a dude, one of the first things I’d figure out
I think if I were a dude, one of the first things I’d figure out would be how not to cum on my own face when I masturbate.
