I’m having a philosophical debate with this cute barmaid: She likes to think of my glass as half full, and I like to think of her as half naked.
Joke Type: observational
Observational jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.
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A friend of mine was complaining about his nutgrass and I didn’t know whether to
A friend of mine was complaining about his nutgrass and I didn’t know whether to recommend a urologist or a landscaper.
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Trivia: The African nation of Angola has the highest child mortality rate.
Trivia: The African nation of Angola has the highest child mortality rate. On the flip side, Mt. Olympus has the highest child immortality rate.
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Oops.
Oops. I misunderstood and joined a Jim. Awkward.
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I brought a toilet plunger as my weapon of choice to this gang fight, because shit be
I brought a toilet plunger as my weapon of choice to this gang fight, because shit be going DOWN. /@B0nrMunky
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My wife says I’m unsophisticated and uncultured, so to prove her wrong, guess where I’m
My wife says I’m unsophisticated and uncultured, so to prove her wrong, guess where I’m taking her? Hint: It starts with “B” and rhymes with “wallet.”
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I don’t dislike you because you’re stupid.
I don’t dislike you because you’re stupid. I dislike you because you think you’re smarter than me, despite copious evidence to the contrary.
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The saying “I think, therefore I am…”
The saying “I think, therefore I am…” should have a corollary that would render lifeless all those who do NOT think. Just imagine the miles of roads opening up with no traffic whatsoever.
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They don’t let me name streets in Germany anymore since the Bürpenfahrt incident.
They don’t let me name streets in Germany anymore since the Bürpenfahrt incident. /@B0nrMunky
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I never wear party hats, because if the zombie apocalypse hit just at that moment, I’d
I never wear party hats, because if the zombie apocalypse hit just at that moment, I’d be staggering around dead with an embarrassing hat on. /@b0nrmunky
