When I’m home alone with my penis
Joke Type: relatable
Relatable jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.
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Four Inches Is A Lot
Crush: I just cut off four inches of my hair
Me: so
Crush: four inches is a lot
Me:
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Constipated Memory
Constipated woman ‘lost 10 years of memory’ after straining too hard on toilet
me coming out of the chipotle bathroom:
I have no memory of this place.
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Girl Without Arms Bed
Just remember that somewhere out there, a girl without arms… is trying to make her bed.
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Slow Morning Romance
I like my mornings to be slow and quiet. I want the day to romance me a bit before it tries to fuck me.
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IT Guys Such Dicks
Why are IT guys such dicks?
Last week I drove two hours to push the power button on a server that three separate people assured me was already on.
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Toilet-Training Transferability
As I watched my two-year-old drag his naked bottom across the carpet, I realized that perhaps I overestimated the transferability of the toilet-training skills I had initially honed with our puppies.
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Stimulus Check Midget Hookers
Me when I realize I should have used my stimulus check on bills instead of midget hookers with pink wigs
Someday I’ll learn.
