I was putting on my shoes when my hands were full and I had to sort of artfully slip my heel in several times until it felt just right. That’s when I thought to myself: This is a lot like fucking.
Joke Type: relatable
Relatable jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.
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It kinda sucked when I learned that what I’d won in the charity
It kinda sucked when I learned that what I’d won in the charity raffle was literally a “liquor basket,” and didn’t have anything at all to do with the woman who sold me the ticket.
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My rules for a night of married sex are now the same rules for a
My rules for a night of married sex are now the same rules for a family evening at home: Don’t block the TV and don’t wake me if I fall asleep.
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(Lori Petterson) Happiness is finding a freshly cleaned gas
(Lori Petterson) Happiness is finding a freshly cleaned gas station restroom when you have to poo.
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Nothing takes the sexy out of a fresh set of bed sheets faster
Nothing takes the sexy out of a fresh set of bed sheets faster than a schmear of butt-mustard left behind by the cat.
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Before I can stand up and turn around — whoosh, it’s gone!
Before I can stand up and turn around — whoosh, it’s gone! Airports should add a pause button to those damn electronic toilets.
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I try listening to my heart, really I do
I try listening to my heart, really I do.
