Nothing takes the sexy out of a fresh set of bed sheets faster than a schmear of butt-mustard left behind by the cat.
Joke Type: relatable
Relatable jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.
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Before I can stand up and turn around — whoosh, it’s gone!
Before I can stand up and turn around — whoosh, it’s gone! Airports should add a pause button to those damn electronic toilets.
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I try listening to my heart, really I do
I try listening to my heart, really I do.
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To me it was never about “Romulans versus Klingons” as much as
To me it was never about “Romulans versus Klingons” as much as it was about “How far am I going to take this in order to bang a chick willing to wear Spock ears during sex?”
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I love eating chocolate chip cookie dough from the tube. My
I love eating chocolate chip cookie dough from the tube. My boyfriend loves licking it off my nipples. Win-win!
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Don’t you hate it when you’re about to cum and the guy does
Don’t you hate it when you’re about to cum and the guy does something to ruin it? You know, like speaking.
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Sometimes you just want a guy to throw you to the ground and
Sometimes you just want a guy to throw you to the ground and fuck the living shit out of you. Other times you just want him to bring you your entrée while it’s still hot.
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After 10 years of marriage, my wife and I have a comfortable
After 10 years of marriage, my wife and I have a comfortable routine: I get sex after she goes on a shopping bender, then waits till I cum before informing me how much she spent.
