When I was young, I was poor. But after years of hard work, I am no longer young.
Joke Type: relatable
Relatable jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.
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Stop Limiting Yourself
If having one glass of wine makes you happy, imagine having seven. Stop limiting yourself.
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Danny Glover Was Just 41
Danny Glover was just 41 when he decided he was getting too old for this shit. Let that sink in.
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Nothing’s More American
They say nothing’s more American than grabbing a hotdog, heading to the ballpark and watching nine guys from the Dominican Republic make magic on the field.
— Will Ferrell
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It’s really easy to quit
I don’t know why people say, “It’s so hard to quit.” It’s really easy when it’s something you didn’t want to do in the first place.
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Tell That to Mrs. Coolidge
It’s said that President and Mrs. Coolidge were invited to visit a Department of Agriculture station that was working on ways to improve farming. Two agents guided them separately.
When Mrs. Coolidge was brought to the chicken yard, she noticed a rooster doing his duty. She asked how many times the rooster could provide service per day and was told dozens of times.
She replied, “Tell that to the President when he comes by.”
Later, when the President was informed of that fact, he asked, “Same hen every time?”
He was told, “No, a different hen every time.”
He responded, “Tell that to Mrs. Coolidge.”
