r/Showerthoughts
You are probably closer to being a millionaire than Bill Gates.
Joke Type: self-deprecating
Self-deprecating jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.
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Hungover Me Vodka
I WOKE UP THIS MORNING WITH A GLASS OF WATER ON MY BEDSIDE TABLE WITH A NOTE SAYING “FOR HUNGOVER ME”
I DRANK IT AND IT WAS VODKA. DRUNK ME CAN BE SUCH AN ASSHOLE.
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Down For Whatever
I say “I’m down for whatever” a lot for someone who is down for maybe 3 things and one of those is napping and another is sleeping
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Ugly and Poor
Women call me ugly only until they find how much I make.
Then they call me ugly and poor!!
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The Computer
Do you know why people call me “The Computer”?
I fall asleep if left unattended for 5 minutes.
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Miley Cyrus Home Depot
mikerocks182 1 week ago
When Miley Cyrus gets naked and licks a hammer it’s “art” and “music.” When I do it, I’m “wasted” and “have to leave Home Depot.”
Reply · 42
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No Smoking Bad Sex
NO SMOKING
“I’ve got to give you credit. How you can squeeze that much bad sex into 2 minutes, is beyond me.”
