If they ever start taking civilians into the space program, I’ll be the first to sign up. Not because I’m into science or exploring or stuff, but because I owe a lot of money to some really mean dudes in Jersey.
Joke Type: self-deprecating
Self-deprecating jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.
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Never Really That Into Her
So sad news, my girlfriend broke up with me for having a small penis.
It’s OK… I was never really that into her.
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Asshole Always Hurts
ME: I don’t understand why my Asshole always hurts.
Also ME: (spicy food and priest collage)
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Closer To Millionaire Than Bill Gates
r/Showerthoughts
You are probably closer to being a millionaire than Bill Gates.
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Hungover Me Vodka
I WOKE UP THIS MORNING WITH A GLASS OF WATER ON MY BEDSIDE TABLE WITH A NOTE SAYING “FOR HUNGOVER ME”
I DRANK IT AND IT WAS VODKA. DRUNK ME CAN BE SUCH AN ASSHOLE.
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Down For Whatever
I say “I’m down for whatever” a lot for someone who is down for maybe 3 things and one of those is napping and another is sleeping
