Joke Type: self-deprecating

Self-deprecating jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.

  • Never Really That Into Her

    So sad news, my girlfriend broke up with me for having a small penis.

    It’s OK… I was never really that into her.

  • Asshole Always Hurts

    Asshole Always Hurts

    ME: I don’t understand why my Asshole always hurts.

    Also ME: (spicy food and priest collage)

  • Closer To Millionaire Than Bill Gates

    Closer To Millionaire Than Bill Gates

    r/Showerthoughts

    You are probably closer to being a millionaire than Bill Gates.

  • Hungover Me Vodka

    Hungover Me Vodka

    I WOKE UP THIS MORNING WITH A GLASS OF WATER ON MY BEDSIDE TABLE WITH A NOTE SAYING “FOR HUNGOVER ME”

    I DRANK IT AND IT WAS VODKA. DRUNK ME CAN BE SUCH AN ASSHOLE.

  • I Miss Her So Much Bro

    I Miss Her So Much Bro

    The heart wants what the nose remembers.

  • I Beat Anorexia

    I Beat Anorexia

    I BEAT ANOREXIA

  • Annual 4 Inch

    Annual 4 Inch

    It’s my wife’s birthday

    Annual 4 Inch

    $5.99 EACH

  • Down For Whatever

    Down For Whatever

    I say “I’m down for whatever” a lot for someone who is down for maybe 3 things and one of those is napping and another is sleeping

  • Ugly and Poor

    Women call me ugly only until they find how much I make.

    Then they call me ugly and poor!!

  • The Computer

    Do you know why people call me “The Computer”?

    I fall asleep if left unattended for 5 minutes.