My shopping list has only Splenda and toilet paper on it. I think that’s a metaphor for my mood: artificial sweetener and shit.
Joke Type: self-deprecating
Self-deprecating jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.
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How exactly is titty fucking pleasing to a woman? That might
How exactly is titty fucking pleasing to a woman? That might explain why I’ve been having so much trouble finding the clitoris.
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I was walking my dog when a lady asked if the shit pile on her
I was walking my dog when a lady asked if the shit pile on her lawn was mine and I got super offended because I haven’t shat on a lawn in weeks.
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Forgot to take my kid to school this morning, in case you’re
Forgot to take my kid to school this morning, in case you’re wondering how nice that woman’s tits were last night.
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In short, your parents fucked when the triangulation of stars
In short, your parents fucked when the triangulation of stars looked like a ram to some ancient guys and that’s why you’re the way you are.
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I gave my neighbor a bottle of wine when she moved in, and for a
I gave my neighbor a bottle of wine when she moved in, and for a goodbye gift I’m throwing an expired Lean Cuisine onto her lawn as I drive the fuck away.
