Self Deprecating Jokes, Memes & Dark Humor

I used to be flattered when gay men hit on me. But then I

I used to be flattered when gay men hit on me. But then I remembered gay men are men, too, like me. Yesterday I put my dick in a tree stump.

Hi kids. In case you’re wondering what it’s like to be an adult, my mom called and yelled at me for typing “fuck” on the Internet. I’m 38.

(Donald Junter) No matter what kind of day I have, by the end of the day my bra always smells like boobs.

Still haven’t heard from Hallmark about my idea for a line of “Thanks for not molesting me, alcoholic stepdad” cards.

me: [absolutely killing it on harmonica]

taco bell cashier: are you gonna order

Me talking to the sink full of dirty dishes every night

I’m going to bed. Fuck the lot of you.

When the doctor asks what you’re taking for depression

6 Medicinal Pizza

Day 1 at the gym just finished taking a shit let’s start the work out

Jon @ArfMeasures

Me *swallowing 4th wet t-shirt* this contest is hard

11:15 AM – 31 May 19 – Twitter for Android

2,711 Retweets 20K Likes

For the Halloween party at work this year, I went as a disgruntled employee.

The costume was simple: all I had to do was wear my regular clothes and improve my attitude.