My boyfriend wants me to be more vocal and talk dirty to him when we’re having sex. Problem is, I don’t talk with my mouth full.
Joke Type: sexual innuendo
Sexual innuendo jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.
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Another Easter, another weekend spent tied to some guy’s bed
Another Easter, another weekend spent tied to some guy’s bed performing oral.
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I wonder if the guy who invented the vibrator heard a strange
I wonder if the guy who invented the vibrator heard a strange little voice whispering to him: “Build it and they will cum.”
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In retrospect, I shouldn’t have screamed and fled the room. I’m
In retrospect, I shouldn’t have screamed and fled the room. I’m pretty sure now that she wasn’t a cannibal after all and was probably just trying to be sexy when she said, “I want you inside me.”
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I was putting on my shoes when my hands were full and I had to
I was putting on my shoes when my hands were full and I had to sort of artfully slip my heel in several times until it felt just right. That’s when I thought to myself: This is a lot like fucking.
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Sometimes when I’m in the shower, all hot, wet and naked,
Sometimes when I’m in the shower, all hot, wet and naked, soaping up my breasts and having fun with the showerhead, I try and think of ways to incorporate that scene into a filthy Rumination. Unfortunately, no luck so far.
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(Roman Meeks) I like my bloody marys like I like my women: with
(Roman Meeks) I like my bloody marys like I like my women: with a little pickle in ’em!
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Want to impress your architect girlfriend? Shave your pubes to
Want to impress your architect girlfriend? Shave your pubes to look like the buildings surrounding the Leaning Tower of Pisa.
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Hey, if my boyfriend’s penis could spurt chocolate, I’d never
Hey, if my boyfriend’s penis could spurt chocolate, I’d never take the damn thing OUT of my mouth.
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Money can’t buy happiness. Except the kind of happiness that can
Money can’t buy happiness. Except the kind of happiness that can be found with multiple orgasms brought on by well-made vibrators.
