Joke Type: wordplay

Wordplay jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.

  • He was a good buoy

    Did you hear about the dog who was floating in the ocean?
    He was a good buoy…

  • They’re calling it PaPal

    Did you hear the Vatican is releasing an online payment system to absolve you of your sins?
    They’re calling it PaPal.

  • Refrain from dribbling again

    My boss said he couldn’t talk because he was traveling.

    I told him he probably needs to shoot or pass, and refrain from dribbling again.

  • Now it’s a Ford Focus

    I just dumped some Adderall in my Ford Fiesta’s gas tank…
    Now it’s a Ford Focus.

  • Watching a live stream

    Why did the woman bring a remote control to the lake?

    She was watching a live stream.

  • He had squatter’s rights

    Why didn’t the personal trainer get kicked out of his apartment?

    He had squatter’s rights.

  • A slipper

    What do you call a shoe made from a banana?

    A slipper.

  • Is the bar tender here?

    A termite walks into a pub and asks, “Is the bar tender here?”

  • A gardener hoes his beets

    What’s the difference between a gardener and a pimp?

    A gardener hoes his beets.

  • The thesaurus throat

    I swallowed a bunch of synonyms today.

    I’ve got the thesaurus throat I’ve ever had.