My neighborhood barber was just arrested for selling drugs.
I was a customer for seven years. I never knew he was a barber.
Sensitivity: Clean
Clean humor, jokes, memes, and questionable punchlines from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Blonde in a library
A blonde walked into a library, marched up to the counter, and said, “I’d like a Big Mac combo meal with large fries and a Diet Coke.”
The librarian said, “Excuse me! This is a library!”
The blonde then whispered, “Sorry… I’d like a Big Mac combo meal with large fries and a Diet Coke.”
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Polish Sausage
I walked up to the counter and said, “Yeah, I’ll take a Polish sausage.”
The guy behind the counter squints at me and asks, “Are you Polish?”
I’m immediately offended.
“What kind of question is that? If I ordered a bratwurst, would you assume I’m German? If I asked for a Belgian waffle, would that make me Belgian? Dumplings — Chinese? What exactly made you think I was Polish?”
He leans in, lowers his voice, and says,
“Sir… this is a hardware store.”
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A Small Medium at Large
What do you call a psychic little person who escaped from jail?
A small medium at large.
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My Cat: The Feline Communist
I think my cat is a communist.
All he talks about is “Mao, Mao, Mao.”
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Unseen Love: Stevie Wonder’s Untold Fatherhood
Stevie Wonder has kids he’s never seen.
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Chemistry Humor: NaBrO to the Rescue!
I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…
He said NaBrO
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Pawsitively Mistaken: Cat Meds Gone Wrong!
I accidentally took my cat’s medication last night.
Don’t ask meow.
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Goodbye Taco Bell: Mr. Rice No More!
What did Alice Cooper say when he quit his job at Taco Bell?
No more Mr rice guy…
No more Mr beans and cheeheeheese
