I don’t think I could ever be “born again,” like some of those Evangelicals I see. I don’t remember much from the first time, but umbilical cords freak me out, and I seriously doubt my mom would go for it.
Sensitivity: Clean
Clean humor, jokes, memes, and questionable punchlines from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Your Chance of Getting Hit by Lightning
It’s silly to worry about storms.
Your chance of getting hit by lightning is exactly the same as your chance of getting hit by lightning.
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Haircuts — The Difference Between Men and Women
Haircuts — The difference between men and women
Women’s version:
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Woman2: Oh! You got a haircut! That’s so cute!Woman1: Do you think so? I wasn’t sure when she gave me the mirror. I mean, you don’t think it’s too fluffy looking?
Woman2: Oh God no! No, it’s perfect. I’d love to get my hair cut like that, but I think my face is too wide. I’m pretty much stuck with this stuff I think.
Woman1: Are you serious? I think your face is adorable. And you could easily get one of those layer cuts – that would look so cute I think. I was actually going to do that except that I was afraid it would accent my long neck.
Woman2: Oh – that’s funny! I would love to have your neck! Anything to take attention away from this two-by-four I have for a shoulder line.
Woman1: Are you kidding? I know girls that would love to have your shoulders. Everything drapes so well on you. I mean, look at my arms – see how short they are? If I had your shoulders I could get clothes to fit me so much easier.
Men’s version:
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Man2: Haircut?Man1: Yeah.
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Take a Clean Dish
Two confirmed bachelors sat talking. Their conversation drifted from politics to cooking. “I got a cookbook once,” said the first, “but I could never do anything with it.”
“Too much fancy cooking in it, eh?” asked the second.
“You said it. Every one of the recipes began the same way – ‘Take a clean dish and….’”
