WORLD OF ENGINEERING
Ctrl Situation
Sensitivity: Clean
Clean humor, jokes, memes, and questionable punchlines from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
-
The Computer
Do you know why people call me “The Computer”?
I fall asleep if left unattended for 5 minutes.
-
Boss Notices Tom’s Perfect Timing Problem
Tom had this problem of getting up late in the morning and was always late for work. His boss was mad at him and threatened to fire him if he didn’t do something about it. So Tom went to his doctor who gave him a pill and told him to take it before he went to bed.
Tom slept well and in fact beat the alarm in the morning. He had a leisurely breakfast and drove cheerfully to work.
“Boss”, he said, “The pill actually worked!”
“That’s all fine” said the boss, “But where were you yesterday?”
-
Firing My Slingshot at Target
The mall security dude arrested me for firing my slingshot at Target. Come on, they were asking for it!
-
Mike’s Perfect Exit Strategy
The boss joined a group of his workers at the coffee urn and told a series of jokes he’d heard recently. Everybody laughed loudly. Everybody, that is, except Mike.
When he noticed that he was getting no reaction from Mike, the boss said, “What’s the matter, Mike? No sense of humor?”
“My sense of humor is fine,” he said. “But I don’t have to laugh. I’m quitting tomorrow.”
-
Rejecting Your Rejection: A Polite Reversal
Letter to Send to People Who Won’t Hire You
[Date Today]
Dear [Interviewer’s Name]:
Thank you for your letter of April 17. After careful consideration I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me employment with your firm. This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually large number of rejection letters. With such a varied and promising field of candidates it is impossible for me to accept all refusals.
Despite Acme Inc.’s outstanding qualifications and previous experience in rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet with my needs at this time. Therefore, I will initiate employment with your firm immediately following graduation. I look forward to seeing you then.
Best of luck in rejecting future candidates.
Sincerely,
[Your Name]
-
Free Budweiser, Next Right
Someone should put up a sign next to a NASCAR track reading “FREE BUDWEISER, NEXT RIGHT.”
