Don’t think of it as losing your virginity; think of it as gaining a free ride home on the back of a motorcycle.
Sensitivity: Clean
Clean humor, jokes, memes, and questionable punchlines from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Memo to self: Stop addressing little notes as “Memo to Self.”
Memo to self: Stop addressing little notes as “Memo to Self.” It’s not necessary and wastes time, as you’re in all likelihood able to recognize your own handwriting.
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I have a very mild form of bulimia.
I have a very mild form of bulimia. After a big meal, I often sneak off by myself and intentionally drool a lot.
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After the ear-piercing shrieking, curse-laden insults and vicious personal attack, I
After the ear-piercing shrieking, curse-laden insults and vicious personal attack, I realized too late that I had mistakenly ordered a Harpy Meal.
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What I like best about being a dad is no longer being the initial suspect when the room
What I like best about being a dad is no longer being the initial suspect when the room smells like poo.
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Contrary to what my mom says, I don’t lack ambition.
Contrary to what my mom says, I don’t lack ambition. I’ve already made plans to be buried with a shotgun and a box of shells so that someday I’ll be the most badass zombie EVER.
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What a bargain this invisible fencing is.
What a bargain this invisible fencing is. It even came with an invisible dog!
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I’m in a group that does Cold War reenactments.
I’m in a group that does Cold War reenactments. It’s pretty easy — all you have to do is sit around and look worried about the USSR.
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For me, the best part of waking up is knowing I can afford to go to Starbucks and not
For me, the best part of waking up is knowing I can afford to go to Starbucks and not have to drink that Folgers crap.
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Prediction for 2010: The states of New York and New Jersey will merge and be called New
Prediction for 2010: The states of New York and New Jersey will merge and be called New Jerk.
