Sensitivity: Dark

The doctor says, “I’m sorry, sir, but the outlook is grim. You have a rare form of cancer and you’ll be dead in a year.”

As they’re driving home, the father says, “You know, I’m not depressed. I’ve lived 75 great years. Tonight let’s go out and celebrate my good, long life!”

That night they’re at the bar and the father is surrounded by all of his friends and he says, “Yup, I’ve got AIDS. I’ll be dead in a year.”

At the end of the night, the son is driving his father home. He says, “Pop, you’ve got cancer. Why did you tell all your buddies you have AIDS?”

“Because after I’m dead, I don’t want them fucking your mother.”

Their teacher takes one of the men out into the hallway, points at a door and says, “In this room, we have your wife. Here’s a loaded pistol, go in and kill her.”

The guy says, “OK.” He goes into the room and comes out a few minutes later. He says, “I love her, I can’t do it.”

The teacher says, “You don’t have what it takes to be a hitman, get out of here.”

The teacher then does the same thing with the other guy, with the same result.

He then takes the woman out into the hallway, points at a door and says, “In this room, we have your husband. Here’s a loaded pistol, go in and kill him.”

She goes into the room, and he hears a gunshot, and then all hell breaks loose. There’s yelling and screaming plus furniture being broken. After about 15 minutes of this, the woman comes out looking dishevelled and says, “Why the hell did you put blanks in the gun? I had to beat the son-of-a-bitch to death.”