I gave my neighbor a bottle of wine when she moved in, and for a goodbye gift I’m throwing an expired Lean Cuisine onto her lawn as I drive the fuck away.
Sensitivity: Dark
Dark humor, jokes, memes, and questionable punchlines from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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These funeral ushers are not fucking around with the one free
These funeral ushers are not fucking around with the one free balloon per mourner limit.
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I bet it’s really hard to get a great parking space at the
I bet it’s really hard to get a great parking space at the Special Olympics.
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My Uncle Larry once told me that you knew you had a good strong
My Uncle Larry once told me that you knew you had a good strong penis if you could lift weights with it. At least, that’s how I explained the whole bowling ball/SuperGlue incident to the ER staff.
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Is “gangbang” one word or two? I’m writing a letter to try and
Is “gangbang” one word or two? I’m writing a letter to try and get out of jury duty and I don’t wanna sound stupid.
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My wife suggested we start sleeping with other people to make
My wife suggested we start sleeping with other people to make our sex lives more exciting, so I asked her how many other guys she planned on having sex with while she’s married to me. Her reply: “Retroactively, or from this point forward?”
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You saw 9/11 coming? I gave 9/11 the handjob, and you weren’t
You saw 9/11 coming? I gave 9/11 the handjob, and you weren’t even in the room!
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Most people don’t know Santa Claus has a half brother, Ralph
Most people don’t know Santa Claus has a half brother, Ralph Claus, who brings heart-beating-through-yourasshole hangovers on December 26th.
