Sensitivity: Dark

Dark humor, jokes, memes, and questionable punchlines from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

I’m not a fan of trite sayings, but “It’s not who you know, it’s

I’m not a fan of trite sayings, but “It’s not who you know, it’s who you blow” sure got me a lot of Girl Scout merit badges.
My parents are very asexual. I swear the only times they had sex

My parents are very asexual. I swear the only times they had sex were when I was conceived, when my sister was conceived, and that time Dad shot me in my still-developing fetal eye.
I hate it when my Ruminations get demoted to the lesser-read

I hate it when my Ruminations get demoted to the lesser-read filthy list just because at the very end some chick gets titty-fucked.
Turns out you can teach an old dog new tricks. You just have to

Turns out you can teach an old dog new tricks. You just have to send her to the Convention Center beat and pimp her out really cheap.
Call me a “cheap ho” all you want — I’m still not throwing in

Call me a “cheap ho” all you want — I’m still not throwing in the midget for free.
While I appreciate the tribe welcoming me into their fold, I

While I appreciate the tribe welcoming me into their fold, I knew I was in for a long night when they put me up in a wigwam with Splayed with Aching Clitoris.
I like my coffee like I like my women: half-digested and culled

I like my coffee like I like my women: half-digested and culled from the feces of the Asian Palm Civet.
If I masturbated any more, I’d be a teenage boy. A hot, muscled,

If I masturbated any more, I’d be a teenage boy. A hot, muscled, hard-bodied teenaged boy. Uh, BRB…
I know they say that when it comes to sex, “a hole is a hole,”

I know they say that when it comes to sex, “a hole is a hole,” but it’s been a week now and my wife still hasn’t gotten her hearing back.
I’m having an affair with a married woman, but it’s okay because

I’m having an affair with a married woman, but it’s okay because she and her husband have an arrangement: I come over every Monday night and have sex with her so he can watch the game.