There’s no shame in a man’s weeping; the bitter yet life-embracing tears of universal sorrow… especially when he’s just walked gonads-first into a doorknob.
Sensitivity: PG-13
Pg-13 humor, jokes, memes, and questionable punchlines from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Demented Exhibitionist Guy
I bet one of the hardest parts of being a superhero is remembering which phone booth you left your clothes in. And by “superhero,” what I mean is “demented-exhibitionist-guy.”
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Wife Interrupts Husband’s Porn Search for Curtains
A husband, his wife asleep, goes to the computer in the living room, opens the browser and starts looking through some porn pics.
He’s looking, looking, suddenly he hears behind him:
“Wait wait wait! Scroll up! Again! One more!.. Yes! These are the curtains I want for the kitchen!”
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The Tolkien White Guys
The only two white actors in Black Panther are Martin Freeman, who played Bilbo Baggins, and Andy Serkis, who played Gollum.
They’re the Tolkien white guys.
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Asshole Always Hurts
ME: I don’t understand why my Asshole always hurts.
Also ME: (spicy food and priest collage)
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Roland the Farter
Imagine farting so good that the King gives you a 30 acre estate.
Imagine someone farting so good, that you’re reading about them right now, 900 years later.
Roland the Farter – a medieval flatulist who lived in twelfth-century England. Given Hemingstone manor in Suffolk and 12 hectares (30 acres) of land in return for his services as a jester for King Henry II. Each year he was obliged to perform “Unum saltum et siffletum et unum bumbulum” (one jump, one whistle, and one fart) for the King’s court at Christmas.
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Hungover Me Vodka
I WOKE UP THIS MORNING WITH A GLASS OF WATER ON MY BEDSIDE TABLE WITH A NOTE SAYING “FOR HUNGOVER ME”
I DRANK IT AND IT WAS VODKA. DRUNK ME CAN BE SUCH AN ASSHOLE.
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Make It 52
At the store buying 50 condoms. 2 girls behind me started laughing. I turned around and looked them in the eyes and said, ‘Make it 52.’
